Category Archives: Marriage

The Ring

This great thought comes from my childhood friend.  I had the pleasure of performing his wedding to his lovely wife Carin more than a few years ago – nearly 21 years. He posted this on Facebook and I use it with permission. – Scott

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The Ring

I took my wedding ring off a couple of months ago for the first time in many years. My wife gave me a black tungsten ring for Christmas as a replacement for my original gold wedding ring. I had kind of hinted for one!

If you looked at my wedding ring, you might notice that it has seen better days. It received its unique custom shaping in a variety of ways. It’s been caught, pinched, squeezed, pulled and scratched. I have reshaped it a time or two, but have not really kept it off long since I’ve been married.

After wearing the new ring for a couple of days, I learned something about myself that I never really knew. It started to bother me to not have my ‘old’ ring on. And then I figured it out.
You see…to me, my wedding ring represented something much more than a round, flawless ring. It reminded me that marriage can be hard but it can persevere through the toughest of times, even protecting the couple from harm that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to endure alone. I know beyond any doubt that I am so very thankful to God for the marriage I have with Carin.

You might say, “How does that warped ring feel on your finger?”, as it’s surely no longer perfectly round. The truth is, it’s a very comfortable fit. It’s almost as if the finger has grown to fit the ring, or the ring continues to grow to fit the finger – very similar to a husband and wife who grow to become a better fit for each other with time. Again, after almost 21 years, we have been through some ‘bumps’ and ‘trauma’, but we’ve grown to be a better fit for each other through that too!

If you see me wearing my new black tungsten ring on my pinky finger, now you’ll know why.

  • Tom Biggs
ecs talent show 1972-73

1973 ECS Talent show, I am on the left, Tom is on the right. One of the girls is Darla (who posted this pic to FB) and the other – I cannot remember her name. Tom and I go way back.

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You Never Know

amy and scottRecently, Amy and I got caught.  We did not know someone was watching.  We really did not even consider that someone might be watching.  We only found out when Alice told us. She came up to us after Bible classes a day or so later , “There they are!” she said. “My two sweethearts.  I saw you at the store the other day.”

She then told us that she and a friend were shopping and her friend pointed out a couple holding hands as they shopped, “Isn’t that sweet?!” Alice’s friend said as she point to the couple holding hands. “Ooh,” Alice cooed, “I wonder how long they have been married . . . Wait!” Alice stared harder, “That’s Mr. Scott and Mrs. Amy – he’s the preacher where I go to church and that’s his wife!”

I am glad we were caught.  I hope the world sees Amy and I holding hands as we are in the Mall, at Target, or Walmart. I hope that somehow the fact that we still hold hands after 26 years of marriage plus the nearly 2 years we dated will influence some other couple to be affectionate and to stick together.

When We Hold Hands

By B Scott McCown – September 08, 2015

 

When I hold your hand,

I am saying I love you.

When I hold your hand,

I am saying I care.

When I hold your hand,

I am keeping you near me.

When I hold your hand,

As we walk or in prayer.

 

When you hold my hand,

I know that you love me.

When you hold my hand,

I am walking on air.

When you hold my hand,

You are keeping me near you.

When you hold my hand,

One life – one path we share.

 

When we hold hands,

Others take notice.

When we hold hands,

Let the world stop and stare.

When we hold hands,

We are walking together.

When we hold hands,

Life’s burdens we can bear.

  • Scott

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Making Marriage Matter

This weekend Central is hosting an event we are calling Marriage Matters Weekend. We are looking forward to Dr. Danny Camp

Amy on our wedding day 8.12.89

Amy on our wedding day 8.12.89

being with us Friday night and Saturday morning. Our prayer is that our marriages will strengthen as a result of what we learn.

As I was thinking about this weekend, I looked through some older posts on Marriage and came across this one in the archives: One Day in a Happy Marriage.

Today you get a glimpse, just a few moments – 10 to be precise – of a happy marriage.  These are moments you can recreate in your marriage that, if you put into practice daily, will help your relationship grow exponentially.

  1. Start the day praying for your marriage.
  2. Say, “Good morning (insert affectionate term here), I love you.”
  3. Be affectionate: i.e. hold hands, hug, kiss (Kiss AFTER you brush away morning breath.  Nothing can kill a morning like morning breath).
  4. Embrace and kiss before you leave for work.
  5. If job(s) allow call each other a couple of times or text a few “I love you”s all along.
  6. Kiss and embrace when you get home. Growing up, we were not allowed to bombard Dad with all of our news, homework, etc. until after Mom welcomed him home with a kiss.  One we would “eww-gross” and try to break apart.
  7. Work on household chores together – including meal preparation.
  8. Sit on couch together while you read or watch TV.
  9. If children are small get them ready for bed – together.
  10. End the day with quiet time (quality time) together.

– Scott

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Marriage Matters!

Come join us for a great weekend.  You can register for the free even online at Marriage Matters:

 

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My Secret to 25

Amy on our wedding day 8.12.89

Amy on our wedding day 8.12.89

Twenty-five years ago today Amy and I walked back up the aisle at College Church of Christ (now University Church of Christ) in Montgomery, Alabama after Dr. Donnie Hilliard pronounced us husband and wife.  Twenty-five (25) years!

“Happy Anniversary, Amy!”

With the arrival of this milestone I want to let you in on our secret(s).  Here are a list of simple things that we do that I think no that I KNOW made 25 years possible and I know will make the next 25 even more wonderful.

  1. Say, “I love you” every day.
  2. Spend time together every day.
  3. Flirt, touch, and flirt some more each day.
  4. Talk together daily.
  5. Text if you cannot call when you are apart during the day.
  6. Do indoor and outdoor chores together.
  7. Find ways to serve your spouse daily.

    The two of us from two weeks ago.

    The two of us from two weeks ago.

  8. Forgive quickly.
  9. Apologize often.
  10. Sit together – close together.
  11. Did I mention to say, “I love you” every day?!

– Scott

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Strong Long-Lasting Marriages

I am on a marriage track this week. I suppose because our 25th Wedding Anniversary is just around the corner. How have we stayed together? How have both our parents’ marriages lasted for 50+ years? What makes for strong relationships in marriage? What

My answered prayer - Amy not the guitar!

My answered prayer – Amy not the guitar!

makes a marriage great? How can couples stay together for decades? How do two completely different people make a relationship last through family crisis, financial struggles, disease, and other disappointments?
First, I am not a marriage counselor, nor do I play one on TV. However, I have some suggestions and I have stayed at a Holiday Inn . . . . I have some marriage advice from my readings, study, and observations over the last few years (including my own 25 year marriage).

  1. Long-Term couples COMMIT to each other and to the relationship. The idea is what the Biblical writers call submission. When a couple submits to one another (cf. Eph 5:21) they are saying to their spouse, “You are more important than me.” One college professor reminded us that “we” comes before “I” in “wedding.”
  2. Long-Term couples UNDERSTAND (learn to understand) each other. You and your spouse are different people from differing backgrounds, and of different genders. You are in a mixed marriage and have to learn to know each other. Again the Biblical writers tells us to live with each other with understanding (cf. 1 Pet 3:7).
  3. Long-Term couples FORGIVE each other. I can only speak for myself, but I know there are things I said or did that hurt Amy. I needed, no need, and desperately desire forgiveness from her when I am in the wrong. (BTW: She is quick to forgive me and gentle to help me grow.) If I want forgiveness, I need to learn to forgive. Once again, we can learn from the Biblical writers who remind us to be forgiving to each other (cf. Eph 4:32).
  4. Long-Term couples learn to COPE with life’s struggles. The world has a way of stretching us like a taffy-pull or pulling us down like gravity itself. Apparently the cosmic forces of this world know when I am getting ahead in life, because that is when something needs repairing or replacing. And just when everyone seems to be healthy, someone gets sick or receives an unwanted diagnosis. Couples who make it through these times intact, learned through smaller struggles how to work together to get through them. Many if not most of them are able to cope because of their faith. The Apostle Paul makes the necessity of faith clear in confessing his struggles yet ability to survive and even express contentment (cf. Phil 4:10-13).
  5. Long-Term couples experience JOY together. They learn to enjoy spending time together. This goes back to the idea of submission. When we first married, I was young and thought I was masculine. I did not appreciate what we men-folk call “chick flicks.” However, I submitted to my wife and learned to enjoy them with her as we sit very close on the couch😉. This idea of joy includes learning to laugh together – even at our mistakes. We can look back now and laugh at some of early days together. Remember a cheerful heart is like good medicine (cf. Prov 17:22) not just for you as an individual, but you and your spouse as “one-flesh.”
  6. Long-Term couples live in LOVE. Love is more than a feeling. Love is more than strong desire. Love is an active pursuit of pleasing and demonstrating care for the other person. Love attempts to outdo the other person in showing honor (cf. Rom 12:10). “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. . . . love will last forever.” (1 Cor 13;4-8 NLT).

Give these a try for the next 50 years and see if your marriage does not last.

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Marriage Assignment

While looking through some older files and blog posts I came accross this older post about marriage.  Since this was a Monday post and today is Monday, I thought I would repost it.

Good Monday!  It is time we begin our work week and time to reflect on our marriages.  I know, you know (or you need to know) that Marriage Matters.  Today is a simple list of five things that you can do today that are mostly free (one of them may cost $1.00  or so) to communicate to your husband or wife their importance to you.

  1. At some point today, take a moment to send an email, text message, Facebook message, or voice-mail to your husband or wife just to say, “I love you.”

    Amy and I on our 23rd Anniversary Get-a-Way

    Amy and I on our 23rd Anniversary Get-a-Way

  2. On your way to home today, stop by a convenience store or florist (one flower is enough for this exercise) and pick-out a small surprise for your spouse on the way home.
  3. Make an embrace and a kiss the FIRST thing you do when you see each other this evening.
  4. Do something unexpected (do a chore that they usually do – laundry, dishes, garbage, etc.)
  5. Hold hands while taking an evening walk together.

Have a great marriage.

– Scott

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