The phone call I returned last night was not what I thought it would be. My best friend from my teen years called. We have not kept in touch because of distance, but we manage to catch up with each other once a year or so. Last night, I had missed his call so I called back. His first comment cut deep in my heart.
Daniel and I spent four years in homeroom and in chorus together. I was also his voluntary chauffeur our senior year when his insurance dropped him for excessive speeding tickets — but I digress. Late in our Junior year, Daniel began dating Martha and a year or so after graduation they married. This year they celebrated 23 years of marriage. But Daniel’s first words to me last night were, “Well, I am single man again.”
I thought they would be one of the exceptions. Many of my high school friends were not married for 5 years before they divorced. I thought Daniel and Martha were going to make it.
I asked what happened. According to Daniel, the split came down to the mutual realization that they had grown apart over the last few years and she decided she did not want to be married to him any longer. Daniel said they were still friends and that their divorce was civil.
My heart breaks for Daniel and Martha. Breaking off 23 years of marriage is not easy. Daniel is still the same; he has a positive attitude that he will make it. But he is hurting. He revealed his pain as we wrapped up our 90 minute conversation, “I hope you never have to face this.” I replied that I was not planning on it.
Here is part of my avoidance plan:
- Make sure Amy knows I love her. I will tell her and show her daily.
- Date, date, and date some more. We continually do things together.
- Hold hands more often. That may be difficult since we already hold hands a lot.
- Continue to pursue (court) each other. Attempt to keep the romance alive.
- Talk about our day. Listen to what she says and be empathetic to her stresses.
- Open the car (truck) door for her. I have let down in this area. I need to get back to this.